Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Big Baby.
I was talking to my mother on the phone early this morning and I could hear my brother's voice reverberating from the background (he was nagging one of the household help because his clothes haven't been prepared yet, his room not cleaned, and his briefs not ironed right).
Yes, as with many neanderthals, err, men from his generation, my brother is a twenty-three-year-old toddler still -- with a huge stack of porn and an honorary membership to the "men are born polygamous" society (of morons).
Hehe.
Man, I wish my brother never gets to read this blog.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
The NMAT (National Medical Admission Test) is on Sunday.
And, I am, as usual, ill-prepared.
**
On Saturday, from 4 am till sundown, I have to go on an Ecology Field Trip to Mt. Makiling, Los Banos, Laguna.
The idea of immersing myself in studying the different behavioral activities of various organisms inhabiting the different mangrove forests in the region does not pique my excitement one bit.
**
For weeks now, I've been feeling rather numb.
I was with my friend yesterday, we just got back to my unit after a very tiring day braving the throng of mad shoppers in Divisoria) -- and decided to just laze out, watch tv and wait for her very erratic bowel movements to calm down.
Then, she said one thing that stuck out, that I had a flaw.
I retreat from people -- even if they reach out to me, I hold back, I limit my emotions -- which is very perplexing, she added, because when I tell jokes or, and this she stressed, when I make fun of them, I'm very gregarious.
Of course, I just listened.
I want to explain.
But, I'm tired, not just physically, but simply, tired, in its truest sense -- my emotions are my own, I guess, my thoughts my only comfort.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Life is weird.
Back then, I wanted to strangle myself because of my cowardice.
Now, I'm contemplating on the possibility of taking a year off from all these.
And, breathe.
Of course, I know I can't.

